The Jinx...the psychic child...the blessing...

Feeling funny, emotional, tired, and most of all....off. I decided to take a pregnancy test like I have many times in the course of having an IUD. Call me paranoid... so without telling Dustin I was thinking about how weird I felt I decided to take a pregnancy test by myself "knowing" I was just being silly. Much to my surprise it turned up positive. Anxiously hyperventilating in the bathroom I thought about the last few weeks of conversations I had had with various people. One being my mom saying I better make sure I not get pregnant again, one from a friend saying she knows 2 people who have gotten pregnant on the IUD, and one that stuck out the most, Khaliah arguing with me about having a baby in my belly. "No, Khaliah it's aunt Melinda that has a baby not mommy..." "No mom you have one too. Yes you do, I know."
Next thought, how dangerous the odds are when you conceive while on the IUD. Eptopic pregnancy, infection to baby and mommy, high percentage of miscarriage, and deformations. Really scary stuff and stuff I've never really had to deal with because I have been so lucky with my other 3 pregnancies.
The hardest part at that moment was going through it alone because here I was in a bathroom by myself without my husband to share these worries with me. I was most of all scared to tell him in fear of what he might say. This was definately not part of our "plan" nor was it for the future. We have been so content with the family we have now and have been so excited to have them getting older meaning we got to do more fun activities as a family.
I hurried and called my sister Vanessa who immediately came to my rescue. She was such a huge support and was naming off the countless blessings I have in my life. How much I love being a mom, how great my 3 other kids are, my great marriage, and love all the way around. I just realized how lucky I really am and how though we're not perfectly set up today to have another baby in our lives we will be by the time it comes...and that's reassuring.
Luckily, by the time I told Dustin-right when he was falling asleep-he just laughed and helped me get through the tears...
On Sept 24th I went to an early doctors appointment and got the IUD out, along with an ultrasound. The doctor was very reassuring and at least helped with a little bit of worry because it's not an eptopic pregnancy, I was lucky to be able to get the IUD out, and because I called them right away and got it taken care of, my chances are a little better. I am still high risk right now for a miscarriage, but taking some down time and not even spotting I feel very good. I was even far enough along that the ultrasound picked up the heartbeat which read 108 beats per minute...boy maybe?
I was going to send out cards to family members and some friends and let them know of the new addition, but that for some reason is too much work for me right now. So here is my announcement to all....YES PEOPLE I'M PREGNANT AGAIN.... with a due date of May 21st that makes me 7 weeks pregnant on Thursday. We are very excited and are already getting back in the familiar groove of thinking of names and looking at very tiny clothes.

Khaliah drew this picture of the baby. She was at the ultrasound.

A is for Apple

This last week Khaliah has been learning about the letter A. She's learning the different words that start with A and learning to recognize the letter as well as writing it. Everyday after school we practice with a little worksheet I found on the internet. She does the full page by herself and she is so proud! I'm proud of her for being so interested in learning new things and having fun with it!! She is making so many new friends at school and she LOVES going. She would rather go to school than anywhere else.

Mahlayah has grown soooo much. She has such a personality shining through and I love it. She's pointing to things she wants, she plays with babies now feeding them and the whole bit, she likes to get dressed and undressed, she loves to give hugs and kisses and laughs, laughs, laughs. She will let you know when she doesn't want you to do something or she doesn't like something. She wont eat unless its food she wants to eat. She calls EVERYTHING "laylay." I love getting to know her personality as she begins to grow into a little toddler. On the 26th she will officially be 1 1/2 years old. Yikes!!

Date night long time coming!

Last night Dustin took me out on the town while Melinda watched the kiddos. We went to our fav restaraunt Chili's where I had an AWESOME steak. We sat there enjoying each others company, cuddling, laughing, talking...we really got to enjoy each other alone. After that we cruised around Walgreens and bought some unnecessary items for us-for once-and then headed to the movies. It was awesome to just finally spend some much do one on one time with each other. Its still awesome that after all these years we can still look at each other like we were in the dating stage again. I can't wait for next time! Love you baby!!

One Proud Mama

It's been a little while since I've updated everyone on what's been going on...I've been a lot more busy than usual with our new schedual which at times leaves me hungry, tired and sick....BUT my daughters love the new business we constantly have during the week. Khaliah had her first day of school on Sept 3rd and she didn't have as hard a time leaving me as, well, Taysiah had with her leaving. When we dropped her off and walked her in the classroom Taysiah had a total meltdown that we were leaving her. She threw such a huge tantrum telling me I "better not leave LayLay." To calm her down we went to Walmart and got her some bracelets for her to play with. She loved the bribery. Ever since we have had a farely easy transition with the running around on a day to day basis. Khaliah loves her school and her teacher so much. She also has a blast at dance and she does so well taking instructions. So it makes me one proud mama.

Things have been very mellow, easygoing, natural almost. Nothing over the top or crazy has been happening which for once has been a nice break. Dustin loves his new job and I've been going crazy with reading and getting ready to start scrapbooking. I started working part time at a little mexican restaraunt which has left me completely exhausted but I LOVE having my own money I can spend on whatever. Life feels complete and stable at the moment and that's all I can really ask for. I'll keep everyone updated!!

Hobbies!

Lately I've been working on getting everyone a hobby including myself. I also have many goals that I can accomplish just by doing my hobbies. Not only have I been cooking up a storm making meals I would normally never dream of, but now I am reading more than I have my whole life. One of my goals was to read 3 books by the end of the year. Dustins cousins wife DeeAnn suggested that I start reading the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer and I love them so much I'm almost done with my second book and just started reading them 3 days ago. Next on the list is learning quilting, photography and starting the girls scrapbooks.
Khaliah just started Dance class today. She absolutely LOVES it. She did so well!! We're going tomorrow to pick up her dance clothes and her shoes. The class I found for her is perfect because they do all aspects of dance. She learns ballet, tap, jazz and tumbling. I like that they work on everything so she can decide which one she likes the best. She gets to go to dance on Tuesdays and Thursdays for 1 hour all by herself and she loves that. She also starts her preschool tomorrow. She's had her backpack packed for weeks now, but she finally gets to start. I'll let everyone know how it goes but she is soooo excited. She'll go to school Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So lucky for her she has something to look forward to every day whether it be school or dance!
Because Taysiah is only 2 (almost 2 1/2) she doesn't get to do dance even though they let her participate today. She really doesn't have the attention span even though she did do most of the moves. I'm looking in to getting her started in gymnastics until January when she starts dance. It's hard around here to find something for her age group, but if all else fails I can create something special for her to do that makes her feel proud of herself.
And of course Mahlayah doesn't know which way is up or which way is down, so all she expects is some food and a fun place for her to walk around. Which by the way I don't think I've posted that yes, she is completely walking. Real late, but YAY!!
Dustin has always had his hobbies so he didn't have to work real hard on that one, but he has now added hunting to the list since he went this labor day with his dad. Bummer they didn't get anything because they didn't get close enough but they're going this weeking and wont come home until they do finally get one. Yes, he's still got the samauri and yes he still has snowboarding and every other thing he does. So, he's covered...but I guess he always has been.
Things are definatley perking up because we have a plan and have stuck to everything so far. We will be moving out by the end of this month to a small apartment so we can save the money to start building our eco friendly home next year. Still so much to accomplish, but we're all really having a blast developing ourselves!!