The Jinx...the psychic child...the blessing...

Feeling funny, emotional, tired, and most of all....off. I decided to take a pregnancy test like I have many times in the course of having an IUD. Call me paranoid... so without telling Dustin I was thinking about how weird I felt I decided to take a pregnancy test by myself "knowing" I was just being silly. Much to my surprise it turned up positive. Anxiously hyperventilating in the bathroom I thought about the last few weeks of conversations I had had with various people. One being my mom saying I better make sure I not get pregnant again, one from a friend saying she knows 2 people who have gotten pregnant on the IUD, and one that stuck out the most, Khaliah arguing with me about having a baby in my belly. "No, Khaliah it's aunt Melinda that has a baby not mommy..." "No mom you have one too. Yes you do, I know."
Next thought, how dangerous the odds are when you conceive while on the IUD. Eptopic pregnancy, infection to baby and mommy, high percentage of miscarriage, and deformations. Really scary stuff and stuff I've never really had to deal with because I have been so lucky with my other 3 pregnancies.
The hardest part at that moment was going through it alone because here I was in a bathroom by myself without my husband to share these worries with me. I was most of all scared to tell him in fear of what he might say. This was definately not part of our "plan" nor was it for the future. We have been so content with the family we have now and have been so excited to have them getting older meaning we got to do more fun activities as a family.
I hurried and called my sister Vanessa who immediately came to my rescue. She was such a huge support and was naming off the countless blessings I have in my life. How much I love being a mom, how great my 3 other kids are, my great marriage, and love all the way around. I just realized how lucky I really am and how though we're not perfectly set up today to have another baby in our lives we will be by the time it comes...and that's reassuring.
Luckily, by the time I told Dustin-right when he was falling asleep-he just laughed and helped me get through the tears...
On Sept 24th I went to an early doctors appointment and got the IUD out, along with an ultrasound. The doctor was very reassuring and at least helped with a little bit of worry because it's not an eptopic pregnancy, I was lucky to be able to get the IUD out, and because I called them right away and got it taken care of, my chances are a little better. I am still high risk right now for a miscarriage, but taking some down time and not even spotting I feel very good. I was even far enough along that the ultrasound picked up the heartbeat which read 108 beats per minute...boy maybe?
I was going to send out cards to family members and some friends and let them know of the new addition, but that for some reason is too much work for me right now. So here is my announcement to all....YES PEOPLE I'M PREGNANT AGAIN.... with a due date of May 21st that makes me 7 weeks pregnant on Thursday. We are very excited and are already getting back in the familiar groove of thinking of names and looking at very tiny clothes.

Khaliah drew this picture of the baby. She was at the ultrasound.